Motivation

What would it take you to live your life to the fullest? The past? Encouragement from love ones? Success? Dr. Oz?  Jay Kubassek?

I think a lot of things motivate a person. A person may say, they are not motivated. But deep inside, the fact that they are acknowledging that they are unhappy, is motivation enough to think of the reasons why. Which may result to finding ways to make them happy. 

I have been through a lot of ups and down in my life. It made my life exciting. I would be dead bored if my life was a Flatliner. If anything, when I was down, I had hopes that I have nowhere to go to but "up". I am thankful that my family and friends never gave up on me. 

I am at a point in my life now that I would never thought I would get to. I am happy the way things are going. Full of love, full of life, appreciative, but most of all, very motivated. 

I think everyone should find what motivates them and use it to the fullest. Trust me, it's worth every shot!

ROFLMAO

You need all the toys to fill the void in your life. You need a desperate woman who down south You need someone who can settle with your "inability".  So where does that leave you?  

Enjoy your pity parties. :-)

Oh Please!!!!!

Seriously?!!!!!!!!    Wake up honey!     You must be on crack.

Trust your instinct

Merriam-Webster defines Instinct as "a natural impulse". One friend of mine said, "when it doesn't flow naturally leave it alone."  In short, trust your instinct.

My dog went to obedience class when he was a puppy. One of the commands that he learned was "Leave it". I know it only works for dogs, but there should be an inner voice in us that tells us to "leave it" when your instinct tells you to leave it alone, or ignore.

There are a few things that happen in our lives that we really need to rely on signs, instinct or even advice from friends if we are suppose to believe, accept, do, or whatever it may be. It maybe a new job, shopping, friendship or even a relationship. Don't look at the obvious, dig deeper. Don't get excited about it right away, because, chances are, it's all superficial. At the end of the day, it's yourself that you will be kicking for falling for something that wasn't true to begin with.

But then again, you learn to live.

The simplest things can make you really happy

Sometimes, you don't need the greatest. You don't need the grandest. You can live a simple life. There are times when you don't have to experience the best either, as long as you're happy. You don't have to look for perfection, you have to look for what's perfect for you.


A simple dinner, a simple conversation, or sometimes, just sitting and not even talking. They say, "You say it best when you say nothing at all."  You can even just stare at your feet, or shoes. And maybe laugh about it. You'll be surprised, it does feel good. :)

As long as you are being true to yourself. Because in the end, who are you fooling?

When he closes a door

They say he opens a window.  For me, he didn't open a window, he opened a garage door. Okay I am exaggerating. But for real! When someone is patient because of the many failures that happened in her life, I think at one point she will be rewarded because she has been through so many challenges. Mr. B told me that if it doesn't flow naturally, leave it alone. Although I didn't listen to him at first, I had it at the back of my mind. Obviously, as my earlier blogs indicated, I woke up and smell the coffee.

I am very thankful that the recent chapter of my life ended so fast. It was very unpleasant. Worse that I can ever imagine. But when you have hit so low, you can most definitely appreciate the next chapter so much. You can breathe a fresher air. You can smell victory. You can say for sure you won. Hey, you are experiencing a better scenario, looking at a better view (you can take that literally), and cherishing better memories. What more could you ask for?

And what you may ask am I doing right now? I am taking it all in. With a smile of course. It may not be the perfect life, but perfect for me. Somebody up there must love me.

No, it is not the wine.

What drives a conversation during dinner? I believe it is the personality of the people at that table. The personality that draws you closer to the person, as a friend or any other way. It is what makes you realize how lucky you are to have that person in your life.

Last night I had dinner with a friend that just got back in town. I haven't seen him for almost a month. I missed him. But we have been in touch with each other every day. He has a habit of teasing me. His messages make me smile. But there is something different with actual conversations. Conversations that are about a lot of things. Conversations about food, travel, work, the past, or just about anything. Conversations about loving life! I was drawn so much in the conversation because I felt it was genuine, profound and refreshing. I was drawn so much that I didn't even notice that I was actually drinking a glass of wine.

Sometimes, you have conversations with people that doesn't really affect you. Conversations that doesn't make you long for more. And maybe conversations that lack credibility. Conversations that make you say in your mind, "when will this be over?". But nobody is perfect. Some people can have more depth than others.

But one thing for sure, when you find a person that makes you long for more conversations with them, make that known to that person. I am sure they will appreciate it. And no it's not the wine.

At some point... ...

You just have to find the courage to forgive.  It is the right thing to do. You can't count on people to be perfect. When they screw you over, it's part of living as humans who can be imperfect. All you can do is understand that there must have been a  reason why they have strayed away from doing the right thing. You can also hope that they never do it again. Who knows?

Taking care of business

And why wouldn't I?  I am trying to have a positive outlook here. I am motivated to move on.  Find the brighter side of anything I come across with.  Count on friends and family to be supportive.

First line of business: Cherish people who care for you. Appreciate what they do for you. It's a full cycle. Don't you think so?

I got this gift on memorial day from a special friend. I appreciate this person very much. I show that I care. And we both brighten our days. At the end of the day, everybody is happy.

Now that's taking care of business!

I guess the two go hand in hand

I got the bottle as another gift last night before heading out to dinner. I am new to wine drinking, I admit. I only got my wine glass a few weeks ago. When I got home, I had to see if I even have a cork screw. Well, what do you know, I have one. Good start!

What can I say?

Sometimes, you wonder if you can believe a person. And yes, you have to give them the benefit of the doubt. But at what point do you throw in the towel and say it' not worth it.

I'll tell you what, in my opinion, it is when people are not making sense anymore. It is when lies are created on top of another. It's when you hear a person tell you his lies to his other half. It's when people can't get their story straight. When all conversations don't seem real anymore. When you realize that it was all a joke and everything shouldn't have happened.


But in all of these, all you need to do is find something good in this bad situation. Think of the good times over the bad times. And you will recover from disappointments.

Think good thoughts.

What if there are none?

It's okay, it was fun while it lasted. 

It only happens on TV ... ... ...

Does it? No.... I am positive. I look around and I see it happen. And it inspires me.

One of my favorite characters on TV said this:

-Meredith Grey : "You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true."

A beautiful place isn't it?

Fairy tales do come true, It just won't happen at this moment of my life. But you know what? I don't mind at all. 

Because as of now, I am just smelling the coffee (after waking up). 

Sounds like a plan!

Somebody told me last night that if you make up your mind to create a new path for your life is a plan itself. I thought I didn't have enough drive in me. But I guess I needed a slight nudge. I needed to be reminded about my trials and tribulations. I am making up my mind, and it is a good thing.

I should start with my bucket list, a good friend said. But for me, I should start with just figuring out where to go from here, am I staying or going? Who should I go with?

They say it's not the destination, it's the journey. I want to have a smooth journey in life. Especially in the next chapter of my life. I don't want to have to walk on egg shells. I try to stay in the middle, aggressive but mindful. I don't want to worry about who knows what, or who will say what. Because at the same token, once I know what I am doing is right, I wouldn't give a damn what others think. I guess that what got me where I am right now in my life. I am a very determined person. I could really write a book about what I have been through (maybe I will, once I get to my next destination).

The fact that I made up my mind to make some changes is already a plan. For others, it doesn't make sense, but for me, party on! It's a celebration.

How do you wake up and smell the coffee?

Some of us are blinded by how we want to paint the picture of our lives. We  like to live in a fantasy. So much so that we ignore signs. Signs that because we want the fantasy to be our reality, we get deeper and deeper into a state of  numbness. But what's sad is that, we have no energy or courage to get ourselves out. It goes back to the point that we want to hang on to the fantasy. We want to hang on to the perfect life. We want to hang on to a life without ridicule of others.

I am guilty myself of hanging on to a fantasy. Something I know I can't have. And yet, I keep on telling myself, hang on, things will change. Even though, I know it's a shot in the moon. I am blinded by a little smile, when I know it's only temporary. I need to examine the picture. A picture that will never change.  A picture that I know, I can't compete with. I can't keep on imagining the "what if's". I need to stop dreaming.

The question is, how do you get out of the useless dream? What would it take?  A prayer? A genuine friend to tell you the truth? No matter what, it is only ourselves who can  get us out of this rut. It is us who has to have the courage. It is us who has to accept the reality, and decide what do we want to do about it.

If I only step back and look at my life, I am doing all right. I don't need the icing on the cake. I can live with "just" the cake. I really don't have to bother to wish for something I don't need. I am alive, aren't I? A year ago, I didn't know if I can even get out of bed. But look at me, I am healthy, I have a lot of friends. I have a family. My life isn't perfect, but it is perfect for me. I have done a lot of things that I know I can be proud of. I have lived with less, so I don't need the extras. I am happy with who I am, not with what I can't be.


And now that I am awake, all I need to do is just smell the coffee and enjoy it. I believe I can. It's an easy task.

And yes, I am genuinely happy!

It's been a long time.

I must admit that I have been truly busy to even sit down and write again. But I realized that everyone needs to take a break, sit down and smell the coffee, in my case, my white mocha.  I know, I know, it's 2011, so I should have at least one post to welcome the New Year. 2010 has been an interesting year. A lot of good things happened along with forgettable things (people). So my first blog of the year would be to summarize the past year and forecast the new.

First and foremost, a lot of my friends know I got sick at the beginning of the year. I thank all of the people that helped me through that ordeal, my kids, my parents, my good friend Robert, and all my Facebook friends, special mention to Jinggay and Malou. I got back to work middle of March. It was a big adjustment for me having bedridden for 3 months. I had to work extra hard when I got back because I was under pressure to make my goals. I was challenged to prove myself that I can do it to get to the next step. I am proud that I made it.

This year was also bitter sweet for me. My eldest son has moved out and went back to his birthplace. We miss him terribly, but I know that I raised him well and that he will be great in his own way. No matter what, we will always be proud of him. He is always welcome to come back and we will accept him with open arms.

I was also in a forgettable 4 month relationship that I was thankful that I have ended. A lifetime of misery would have been inevitable if I stayed with that person. But as the higher being says all the time, if he closes a door, he opens a window (although another door would have been more comfortable, ha ha ha). But wait, a door wasn't closed on me, I shut it myself, for I no longer want to witness all the worms that are coming out of that horrendous can. :-)  Come on, do I need all the drama that came with him?

I also got close to my good friend and her family. They make life here in Elk Grove quite the interesting one that I am beginning to love. I also learned how to drink wine because of them. Although they can't replace my real family in the Bay area, they seem to help me not to miss the real one much. Nothing wrong with that, right?



I also discovered later last year that if you pay close attention, you will discover a treasure just waiting to be polished. I gained a best friend. Someone who makes me happy. Someone who is very understanding that the life of a single mom is very complicated. Someone who takes a back seat when needed. Someone who has an opinion but let's me be the driver when it comes to raising my kids. Someone who practices what he preaches. Someone who makes true to his words (not a flake). But in the midst of all of these good things, someone who reminds me that nobody is perfect, including me ..... and him, and of course, we just have to work on fighting for what we believe in. We will be friends for a long time, I know, for sure. No pressure. No arguments.

That's the past....so what's the forecast?  No Drama, No Dorks hanging around, No Double standards and No hypocrisy..... in other words......Happy life ahead of me.

A party that they all deserved!

It’s not everyday that a mother gets to plan an important party for her children.  I mean this one has to happen. How often does it happen that you have a kid that graduates High School, a kid that graduates Junior High and a daughter that turns into a teenager?  All in one week? Whew!

Yes, you can say that again!  This week has been so busy with preparations. It has to be a party that would cater to all the needs of these three important kids.  All of them deserve this effort that I am making to celebrate a milestone in their life. I am lucky that my family and friends are all contributing to this event. Family is driving from the Bay Area with trays of food. Friends are volunteering to help in set up and even my kids’ friends are bringing food. Most importantly, co-workers are showing their support in giving me time off.

Can we get any luckier?  I am thankful for that. I don’t take that for granted. When you are showered with blessings like that, you just don’t let that go by unappreciated. So to all my family and friends, Thank you in advance!

But now, I have to get back to work.  There’s menu to plan, decorations to design and invitations to send. Then next week, there’s more work. But it is all worth it!

Till next time, my friends!!!!

Happiness is contagious

Yes, Happiness is contagious. Someone close to my heart said that to me one morning. And I believe him. Everyone deserves to be happy. We should  wish everybody their happiness, even the ones that wronged you. Dwelling on the past just gives you stress. Life is too short. Cherish every opportunity to be happy. And when you're happy, smile at the person next to you. Who knows, it might be just what they need to brighten their day.

I am at a point in my life that nothing else matters other than my family, my love one, and a job that I really love. Everything that happened to me (good or bad) in the past has taught me to be a stronger person. I wake up everyday with a smile and say to myself, I am truly lucky.

So, if you feel lucky, smile!

Till next time my friends....

They grow up so fast!

She always just hangs in her room, keeping everybody out, especially her brothers, but sometimes that includes me. She reads a lot of books and spends a lot of time with her collection of body lotions and OPI nail polish. You should see her go crazy at Bath and Body Shop or Ulta. I have never been worried about her. She graduated Grade School with an Award of Excellence (only 16 of them out of the whole graduating class). She had a 4.0 GPA the entire Grade 6. She is adjusting well to Junior High averaging 3.8 GPA.

I can’t deny it, she is growing up so fast, that I wish she was still this young little girl that everyone teases for having those big cheeks. Being a teenager, she is at that age that would rather hang out with her friends that hang out with her mom. Puberty!

So I am very happy that this Spring Vacation, the boys will be busy at my cousin’s house, obviously playing Xbox 360 Elite all day. That means it will be just me and her at our Cesar’s Palace Hotel room for 3 days. It’s my time to catch up with what’s new, without any interruption by the two goofballs we call TJ and Jeremy.

On our first evening, we had an informal dinner at the Cypress Street Marketplace. Without a doubt, I knew she was going for the burger joint. I know her too well. I on the other hand just had a Philadelphia Roll, and she also knew that’s what I was going for, something Japanese. What was touching was that she knew that I didn’t want to spend a lot of time eating that night, as I was tired from the drive to Vegas. 

On our first morning, we took a walk inside the isolated Forum Shops (pre-opening). It’s sort of our exercise for the day. Our legs getting the stretch it needed, and our eyes feasting on the goodies we can see on the window. Then as if our minds were talking to each other, we both said, “Breakfast at Jean Philippe’s”. What a treat! When we got there, I knew she was going for the Crepe, of course with Nutella. Very French!! 

For lunch, to my surprise, she insisted that we invite the boys, as she knows it will be in a Restaurant that I was excited about. Being a Bobby Flay fan, I made sure that eating at the Mesa Grill was in our itinerary. She said, everyone should be a part of this special lunch. How thoughtful! Both of us shared our entrée’s as it complemented each other. After lunch, while the boys drove all around Vegas, we both just sat at the poolside, each reading our favorite books. We spent the time together in peace. Enjoying the sun.

The next day was filled with a lot of walking and sightseeing. She chose to go on the Eiffel Tower ride, as she was very impressed by the design of the Paris Hotel. We also had Pinks Hotdogs (to my surprise didn’t have any long line). She wanted to see the Bellagio Fountain show from the ground, to compare it with how she saw it from the Eiffel Tower viewing deck. She is very observant, I noticed. Not a bad trait, I thought. She was very much happy that the day went well, and said she wants to go back to the room now and enjoy the view from our hotel room window. Little did she know, I was much happier for having the pleasure of spending it with her. That’s a rarity these days.

So for you moms out there, take advantage of the time that your daughters are young. Someday, you will wish that they are still the babies that you used to hug (or allow you to hug them in public, LOL!). They grow up so fast. 

‘till next time my friends.

I'm back!!!! Well, almost!

I can't believe how long it has been since my last post. I even had to remember what my password is to get in here. My friends have been wondering what happened to me. For starters, I had to get healthy for a medical procedure that was re-scheduled due to my blood pressure shooting up hours before the procedure. What can I say, it's not everyday that someone will inject something in my spine and be expected not to move. I wasn't even allowed to go out during Valentine's day so my cold doesn't get worst a few days before the procedure. My Anesthesiologist said the last time, I can't even be coughing nor sniffling, because that can cause a sudden movement on my part. Geez!! At least now, I believe in the saying "Better late than never" because my guy really made up for it. Although we celebrated with a "dinner in bed" and amazing gifts (a pair of 1 Karat each Princess cut diamond earring, and Cruise tickets to Carnival Cruise to Puerto Vallarta/Cabo/Mazatlan in August) a week late, it was all worth it. He didn't even mind that I was in my jammies, LOL!

But at least  the pain is almost gone now. I am on my way to recovery. I went back to work two weeks ago. They have been very understanding that I need to take it easy. They evaluated my desk and made sure it was ergonomic. I am always forced to take a break. I am lucky to work with good people. They said I can take much time as I want, relative to PT and doctor's follow up visits.

So in a few weeks, you will hear more about me. There will be more restaurants to visit. There will be more shopping to do. There will be more random posts here......just because....

So till next time my friends.

Need to make some changes

I have been slowly adapting to my situation. I have to get use to the idea that kids are so independent that I can’t rely on them to always come with me whenever I want them to. Well, with the exception of TJ as he always want to be able to drive my MDX. I guess he wants to get used to it knowing he is getting it this summer. He can’t wait to get rid of his pick up truck. But with TJ in school for the most part of the day, I need to be able to do my errands by myself, if at all possible.

This morning, I had to pick up medications needed for the surgery next week. I also had to drop off microchip information for Cotton because City of Elk Grove neglected to ask for it when they visited last December. I don’t want to pay a citation. The drive was nice. I know I can drive up to about 5 – 6 miles. It was a relief to finally gain back my independence. TJ have been insisting on driving me everywhere because of my situation. With my medications now down to something manageable, i.e. enough for pain relief for an hour or two and not making me super drowsy, I am able to do some minor things on my own.

I also have to make sure that I am eating at a regular pace. Medication without food is bad. I am loosing weight even though I have been home for more than a month. My regular shipment of clothes, the latest one was absolutely adoring, a "Silk Tie Sleeve Chemise",  from my favorite store had to be exchanged, as I am down to Extra Small. Does anyone need some clothes from White House Black Market (sized small)? This alarmed my mother as she also has the same contact (a fashion consultant from a Bay area branch that knows our style and size and sends me an item from their latest catalogue) and the weight loss information was obviously passed on. Hmmmmmm. Maybe she saw the shipping manifest, I don’t know. I guess she has the right to know as she pays for the clothes (part of an allowance for both siblings) and shipping cost. But I do wonder why they still bother sending me clothes as I haven’t been out lately because of my sickness, so the clothes keep on pilling up. But my mom said, that’s the least of her concerns. She is worried about me, if I am eating enough. My simple answer was, “Yes, and you can count on your spy (TJ) to tell you also if I am not. But thank you for the February shipment.”  LOL! 

  

So today, As I do my errands, I had to stop by Kintaro Sushi to eat at exactly noon. I have always been a Mikuni Fan, but this restaurant happens to be one of my clients and it is the closest to where I was at that moment. I guess it’s also to clear my conscience. I needed to eat. So, I ordered a Bay Scallop roll and a glass of water. It was so good, but just enough. I know when TJ gets home, I would be happy to tell him that I did good.

With a lot of people caring for me and expressing concerns about me, all I need to do is be strong for my surgery next week. Like, not moving during the procedure. Yikes! I can do this!!!!  But let’s not forget the most important thing, I am happy, just the way things are in my life.

‘Till next time my friends.