You know how I first knew that it was good for us? In June 2000, when he was only 8, somehow, due to an oversight by the lawyers of my then employer Young & Rubicam Advertising, we got stranded in Vancouver, Canada with only one day’s worth of clothes. Jeremy was only 4 years old and Katrina was only 2. We took a flight from San Francisco to my aunt in Seattle and took a train to Vancouver with the intention of returning that same day, for the purpose of crossing the border officially as a J-1 visa holder. To our surprise, we were told my border officials that we had to present that document to an Embassy and stamp our Passports. So we had to check in to a hotel that afternoon, and hope that it would be an easy task for us the next day. I was quite worried that my kids would be frazzled with all the taxi cab ride, the last minute shopping for pajamas, toiletries, and next day clothes and finding the closest hotel to the embassy. What amazed me was that without me coaching him, he told his siblings, “Please be quite, Jeremy and Katrina, I think mom, is already getting stressed. We need to make her relax.” I was so touched, I actually ended up crying (tears of joy) and hugging him. He might not remember this, but when I decided to just skip Seattle and fly from Vancouver to San Francisco, due to all this mix-up, he told me to take a nap during the flight and that he would take care of his sibblings.
TJ was very resilient with all the changes in our lives. Our move to California from Toronto was the start of it. He adapted well to having Michael as a step father for five years, and never once has shown any disrespect or animosity towards him during the divorce. He also paid attention more to the bright side with our move to Elk Grove, even though he was going to loose a ton of friends in Fremont. At 17 years old, he took charge of all the moving, electronics and computer set up of all four bedrooms and renovations. It took us four months to settle in to the house with renovations and all and every weekend he would have a project to complete. Renovation workers (his father’s employees), delivery guys, landscapers would come and go and I didn’t even have to check up on them. He says he has it all under control.
To my surprise last year, he took an interest into cooking. Not a lot of teenagers would have that kind of interest. I got a little inside information from his brother that it was because TJ plans to get into a Culinary School because his girlfriend (then) wants to be a pastry chef. Hmmmmm. Okay!!!
When I couldn’t be home on time, he would send me a text message if I wanted him to start preparing (that includes rinsing and dicing) the ingredients for the meal for the evening, so I only have to do the actual cooking when I get home. He also took on the responsibility of grocery shopping lately, now that he has his own truck. I would transfer money to his account during the day and he would grocery shop based on the meal that I have planned for the week and he also knows the staple food that we need to get. Lately, he would not only ask me what he needs to prepare for the meal, but he would take on to himself in cooking the actual dish by simply remembering what I did previously. If there would be a little uncertainty, he would just send me a text message to clarify. How many 18 year old kids know how to cook Beef Stew, Adobo, Roasted Chicken, Korean Glass Noodle, and so many more? I am simply amazed!
Don’t get him wrong, don’t think he has nothing better to do or he has no friends at all to hangout with. There would be times when all 7 to 15 of his “well behaved” friends would be in my family room playing games or watching dvd’s. I know all of them, and they all come from decent families. All of them call me “Mom”. When TJ told them I would not be having a birthday party for him last December, they (25 of them) came over, complete with about 15 pizza boxes and 10 2-litter sodas, and movies. They just love him. And I love them, too. Maybe my son is just unique.
As a single mom, I couldn’t be any prouder of how he has matured. There was one time when I asked him if being the eldest child of a one-parent family was too much pressure for him. His immediate response was, “No, it taught me to be a better man and I know it will come in handy in the future.” I had to turn my face away for a second to hide my tears. It’s a realization that I didn’t do bad at all. I really didn’t.
And even as I am writing this post, I can’t help but be teary-eyed. What can I say? I am happy.
“Till next time my friends.
